If you are reading this, hello! Welcome to my blog! It feels like it has taken me an eternity just to get to this very sentence, and I feel so relieved to finally be here writing my heart away. I am currently sitting with my cup of coffee and bible to the left, wearing a robe and my favorite pair of Express socks on – I am so comfortable. However, despite the comfort I feel on the outside, there is something that has caused me a great amount of discomfort on the inside. *cue vulnerability*
In the beginning of May, I had my entire summer mentally planned out. In the spring semester, I had many successes and blessings come my way. I was able to assist an incredible Wardrobe Stylist for a worldwide commercial photoshoot in St. Louis, took on a third job styling for a boutique, and so much more. I had visions of myself succeeding in many areas of my life, and had so much confidence and excitement for this season to begin. Little did I know, in those first few weeks of summer I would begin to deal with quite a few events that would change everything. My biggest battle started with an opportunity that fell through, one which I had done tons of preparation for. After that disappointment, I told myself to move on and keep working towards my dream, but I struggled much more than I thought I would. Over time, it felt like everything had sunk into a dark cloud, leaving me feeling confused, lost, and hopeless. My motivation to do anything went from 100 to 0 in a weeks notice, and life quickly began to feel so meaningless. In my time alone, I would feel haunted with whispering voices that quickly began to sound like screaming. Constant voices in my head saying things such as,
You deserved what you got, you are a failure, you’re unimportant, you weren’t going anywhere anyway, you might as well stop trying, success is impossible for you, stop trying and give up, and so much more. It ruined me, and I didn’t tell a soul.
This mind battle barely lasted a month (if that), but personally felt like a year of torture when I was alone. People have asked when I would be starting this blog and I always told them I was too busy and would get to it eventually. All the while, I’ve sleeping, tanning, and binge watching my sadness and disappointment away in my free time – afraid of the potential failure I could experience yet again. I reached out to everything but God to distract my mind, which not only elevated the voices in my head, but pulled me further from God, my goals, and dreams.
As soon as I started praying and reading the word again, my eyes were opened to see the lies that were being spoken over my life this entire time. And in that moment of realization, my mindset changed completely. The feeling of self-hatred, sadness, worthlessness was exchanged for confidence, joy, and worth and there is no way to explain the relief in my heart. If I have one thing to say, it is this:
Every fear I ever had would have been nonexistent if I would have never given up on God.
When one door closes, another one will always open. Don’t let your disappointment deprive you from a bigger and better opportunity that is waiting for you in the future. Success will only flourish in the lives of those who want it. So my dear friends, run for it and show the world just what you are capable of!
Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” So we say with confidence, “The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?” Hebrews 13:5-6
Outfit Details: This is a super simple, yet fun outfit to wear for many summer events such as festivals, concerts, or lunch with a friend.
- My shorts were an old purchase from Forever 21 that are no longer sold – here are some similar shorts. (H&M – more high waisted, Dainty Hooligan – more stretchy and comfortable)
- My top was purchased in May from H&M and appears to be out of stock – here are some similar tops. (Zara, H&M)
- These Shoes are super fun for summer and fall for a pop of color and fun – now on sale for $20 (in few sizes)!
- These Earrings are a MUST HAVE for a fun summer outfit. I love how unique and versatile they are – perfect for a fun night out!
- The bag is a huge staple piece for any outfit and can be worn with any casual or dressy outfit. I purchased this dime piece from Target and unfortunately it is out of stock. Here is an alternative bag. (Amazon)
- I love these sunglasses because they are great to wear all year ’round, super fun for spring and summer but the blue hues help them adapt to fall and winter outfits as well!